Sleep is such an essential need for us as humans that the loss of it can induce real anxiety. But when OCD latches onto that fear of not sleeping it can generate all out panic around bedtime. One of the keys to navigating this type of obsessive fear is to surrender control over our sleep. Understanding your role versus God’s role in relation to sleep can provide the fresh perspective needed to navigate sleep OCD.
Sleep OCD is actually fairly common experience. This type of fear refers to those who develop specific phobias around going to bed, bedtime rituals, falling asleep, or getting enough sleep. Numerous thought patterns develop around this fear, including:
- If I don’t get enough sleep tonight then tomorrow will be ruined.
- If I don’t fall asleep quickly then I won’t fall asleep at all
- I have to fall asleep
- If I don’t do the right bedtime routine then I won’t be able to sleep
- If I can’t fall asleep then I must not be trusting the Lord
- And more
Often these are intrusive thoughts and sufferers can recognize that there is an element of falsity to them. Yet, the pressure and fear associated with bedtime remains. And pressure is the right word, because for many individuals getting enough sleep is a burden they carry and a responsibility they bare. Scripture, however, teaches us that sleep is God’s provision to His children not our responsibility.
Learning to differentiate between our responsibility and God’s as it relates to sleep can lead to places of freedom. Consider the words of Psalm 127:1-2:
Unless the Lord builds the house,
the builders labor in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city,
the guards stand watch in vain.
2 In vain you rise early
and stay up late,
toiling for food to eat—
for he grants sleep to those he loves.
Here the Psalmist is painting a contrast between human work and God’s control. You can do all the work to build your house, for example, but unless the Lord is behind it your labor will be in vain. You can stand guard all night long, but unless the Lord watches over the city your watch will be in vain. You can put in all the extra hours toiling, but the Lord is the ultimate determiner of the outcome.
The intrusive thoughts of OCD often suggest to us that we should be able to control outcomes. You should be able to make yourself fall asleep. If you do the right bedtime routine, if you go to bed at the right time, if you think the right thoughts, then you will get the right results: 8 to 10 hours of sound sleep in your bed. But the last words of verse 2 paint a different picture: [the Lord] grants sleep to those He loves. In other words, sleep is His gift to you, not your responsibility to produce. It is your job to rest, but not to produce sleep. I can slow down my busyness at the end of the day. I can stop working. I can listen to the quiet, or slow my breathing. I can curl up with a comfortable blanket, and listen to soothing music. I can choose to actively wind down from my day, but I cannot make myself fall asleep. My job is simply to rest (even if my eyes are still wide open); it is the Lord’s job to provide sleep to His children in His time. The Lord may not give sleep today, maybe not even tomorrow,* but I want to trust Him to give it in time. Learn the difference between rest and sleep. Focus on your responsibility and seek to trust the Lord with His.
As a part of surrendering control over sleep you may need to loosen your grip on your bedtime routine. OCD thrives on rigid rules. Many of us have bedtime routines and they can often be a helpful signal to our bodies that we are winding down for the night, getting ready for sleep. But when I struggle with sleep OCD, my brain senses that we are getting ready for bed and begins to immediately panic. “I am not tired enough to fall asleep yet! What if I can’t fall asleep?” In this type of situation, the routine may be adding to the anxiety. Let go of your routine, do something different. Don’t set a strict bedtime, allow yourself the freedom to stay up later if needed. If you can’t sleep in bed, relocate. Move to the couch or a chair or a guest room. Be flexible. Your routine cannot guarantee sleep; God gives sleep to His children.
Not only can you not control your sleep, you can’t control tomorrow. One common thought associated with sleep OCD is the thought that if we don’t get enough sleep then we will ruin the next day. We assume we will be too tired to function, too tired to perform our responsibilities or work our job. It is likely that if you don’t get enough sleep, you will be tired the next day, but Scripture teaches us that God’s mercies are new each morning (Lam. 3:22-23). You can trust God to provide you the help, strength, energy, and mercy you need for the next day. Even if you sleep you can’t control what will happen, how you will perform, or how you will feel the next day. But in our weaknesses God’s strength is perfected (2 Cor. 12:9-10).
Sleep OCD is a hard and indeed exhausting experience. The temptation in such struggles is to find a way to control our sleep. Our efforts to control, however, will only result in more anxiety and panic. You can’t control sleep, all you can do is try to rest. But look to the Lord, He will, in due time, give sleep to those He loves. And you can be sure that if you come to Him in Christ, He loves you. So focus on rest, and trust the Lord with your sleep.
* There is one important caveat to this content: Sleeplessness that exceeds 72 hours is medically concerning and can result in serious consequences. You should see a medical doctor if you have not slept for 3+ nights. It is not a failure to seek medical help when needed, and you can still work on trusting the Lord while seeking additional help to get sleep.
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