Loving someone else requires humility. We know instinctively that arrogant people don’t really love others, but love is not just the absence of pride. Love requires that we cultivate the characteristics of humility, and that we practice this humility in our relationship. The Apostle Paul knew this and teaches the Philippians this key principle. To love someone else we must develop humility.
Paul teaches us this principle in the opening chapter of the book of Philippians. In the introduction to this important New Testament letter he is expressing his own gratitude to God for the believers in this church. He prays for them often (v. 4), he holds them in his heart (v. 7), he has the “affection of Christ Jesus” for them and longs to see them (v. 8). But one particular thing he prays for them is that their “love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment” (v. 9). The key word to pick up on for our purposes in this post is the word “knowledge.” Paul longs that their love be informed with knowledge.
Brad Hambrick was so instructive to me on this point, recently. In his devotional commentary on the book of Philippians he unpacks the relationship between love, knowledge, and humility. He writes:
First, love begins with knowledge (v. 9). Think about what you love: a person, a hobby, a subject in school, a vocation, etc. What was the first instinctual thing that you did when you encountered the object of your love? You began learning. Your delight compelled you to explore, invest time, and be open to new possibilities. (A Counseling Commentary on Philippians, 13).
Love requires knowledge. In order to rightly love something we must learn about it. We must explore our interest in it. Think about this in relation to your spouse or a dear friend. Your love means that you want to get to know them more intimately. You want to know about their dreams and fears, you want to learn about their experiences and life, you delight to know what interests them. We instinctively do this, Brad says, because love compels us to learn.
Learning, however, comes with requisite humility. You can’t legitimately learn unless you acknowledge that you don’t know something. So, Brad writes:
This reveals an often-overlooked quality about love: humility. Learning requires accepting what we don’t know. Humility frees us to ask questions, to listen, and to understand…We often miss how central humility is to love. A humble, curious disposition that is willing to learn is foundational to deepening relationships. (ibid)
Loving someone well means being humble enough to learn from them about them. To listen well and take an interest in someone other than yourself. Love requires humility.
Paul wants the Philippians to increase in love, and so he prays for their love to come with knowledge and discernment. He knows that for them to deepen their love for one another they must cultivate a humble disposition that opens them up to learning. God wants the same for us.
How are you at being humble towards those you love? Does your “love” only manifest in so far as it focuses on your needs, getting what you want from others, or using them. This is not the deep love that God’s Word has in mind for us and our relationships. Be curious about your spouse, your friends, your children. Be humble enough to explore their lives with them, to inquire and listen well. Loving them will mean cultivating humility so that you can learn about them and thus deepen that relationship. The more you learn the deeper your relationship will go, but to go that deep you must be humble. So, pray for yourself, friends, that your love would abound more and more…with knowledge.
Sparrow & Heart Soul Care 