A Review of “She’s Got The Wrong Guy” by Deepak Reju

I’ve witnessed it, and so have you. Perhaps you even lived it. Deepak Reju has hit on an important truth about dating and marriage: far too many smart women settle for the wrong guy. They know better than to date certain men, they know what they should be looking for in a godly husband, but they are willing to settle for someone far less than God’s best. In She’s Got the Wrong Guy, pastor and Biblical Counselor Deepak Reju addresses a problem that few have identified, and offers a solution rooted in Scripture. This is the dating book that all of the single women in the church need to read.

She’s Got the Wrong is a different kind of dating book. It is not a how-to-manual, nor is it a sort of theology of dating. Rather, this book seeks to address why otherwise smart and godly women settle for terrible boyfriends. Reju identifies ten “wrong guys” and maps out the issues in dating them. He also guides readers in contemplating why a young single woman might settle for this guy. Ultimately he takes readers back to their own hearts and ask them to wrestle with their own fears, motives, and desires. He points to Scriptural warnings and Scriptural promises regarding relationships and the dangers of marrying the wrong guy. Reju acts as father, counselor, and pastor throughout the book giving both stern warnings and kind encouragements. He is an excellent author/teacher in this volume.

The book is broken down into three parts. Part one introduces the problem itself and points towards a solution that is grounded in a woman’s personal and growing relationship with Jesus. Part two turns towards the consideration of ten common “wrong” guys. Reju explores the controlling man, the promiscuous man, the unbeliever, and the “Lone Ranger” (among others). He descries why they are wrong and why some women are inclined to settle for such guys. He hits on a number of important themes across all ten of these chapters. He explores the relationship between emotional investment and premarital sex. He explores the self-condemnation that settles for unacceptable guys. He explores the fears of loneliness and desperation for dream life that drive women to accept poor behavior. These chapters a wealth of insight both on bad boyfriends, and the self. Part three turns towards a better direction: finding a godly man. Reju starts this section by giving direction on how to end an unhealthy relationship, and then guides women in pursuing a godly man. His final two chapters give hope and encouragement both in waiting for that guy, and in finding grace for relationship failures of the past. The book concludes with an admonition not to compromise.

This is a fantastic book! Reju has written on a subject very few have been willing to explore, and yet he does so with such compassion and guidance. He is not condemning, but he is honest. He is not insensitive, but he is firm in his warnings. In addition he is not merely relying on pop-psychology or personal perspective, but directs readers to consider carefully what Scriptures says. This is a dating book guiding individuals away from sin, and towards the hope of the gospel. She’s Got the Wrong Guy seeks to address an all too common problem, but in so doing it offers hope that fewer women will find themselves in destructive marriages down the road. It is a preventative tool in many ways, and to that end all single godly women should read it.

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