In recent years there has been a surge of works written on a Biblical theology of friendship. It seems that as American culture has been devastated by loneliness more Christians are reconsidering our approach to friendship. Rebecca McLaughlin is one of those theologians adding to the conversation. Friendship, she says, “is not an optional extra life feature…It’s vital to our flourishing” (14). In fact, friendship, for the Christian, is a spiritual influence: it can both shape us into the image of God and points us to the love of God.
The book is short and a very easy read. But its simplicity does not mean it is shallow. In fact, McLaughlin covers several topics I have not seen in any other friendship books. The ten chapters cover a number of different dynamics as it relates to friendship. She addresses the distinction between marriage and friendship and urges readers to view friends in terms of non-traditional families. She encourages Christians to view friendship from the vantage point of mission and spurring one another on in the call of Christ. She addresses the deep intimacy that should accompany friendship and challenges those of us who are inclined to pull back our emotions and affections from friends. She encourages us to view friendships not as closed circles of exclusive friends, but as interlocking rings that bring outsiders into the fold. She also wrestles with the challenging dynamics of friendship between men and women, and friendships for those who struggle with same sex attraction. The book covers a surprisingly vast amount of content in its short 161 pages.
One of the key points of the book is the role friendship plays in our spiritual growth and development. She encourages us to view friendship as a part of our missional work. We spur one another on; we are “comrades in arms.” We sometimes must part as friends to move into ministry, but we always do so as friends. Friends help us to grow spiritually and to be conformed more and more to the image of Christ. So, friends see our sin, confront us, and love us. And ultimately, of course, friendship points us to the friend of sinners. Jesus is the true friend and all our earthly relationships are shadows of this great friendship we have in Him.
I really enjoyed this work. It was an easy read and I found myself flying through it, but it was both thought-provoking and challenging. Her “Biblical vision for friendship,” as the subtitle says, is compelling and thorough. I appreciated her emphasis on friendship as outreach to those who feel disconnected or on the periphery. There is a tendency among many of us to create cliques and tight closed-off circles of friends that leave others excluded. Her emphasis on inclusion is good. I do feel, however, that as so many struggle to build any kind of meaningful friendship, it would have been helpful to speak more in-depth about close friends and building those special relationships. I don’t think many of us do that well and more encouragement and insight on this would have been welcomed. Overall, No Greater Love is an excellent work on friendship and one that many Christians will find helpful. I would highly recommend it.
Sparrow & Heart Soul Care 