Some subjects are difficult to write about and analyze. Friendship strikes me as one such subject. Not because of its complexity and difficulty, but rather because the subject doesn’t lend itself well to analysis. That is to say, friendship is experienced and an analysis of the subject can misrepresent it easily. It is for this reason, perhaps, that Hugh Black’s 1898 book has remained a classic guide. While doing a sort of analysis of the subject, Black writes about friendship with a poetic voice. He writes with sensitivity, beauty, and warmth. Black’s Friendship doesn’t just help us to understand the subject; it invites us to cherish it.
Throughout the book Black celebrates friendship. He begins by speaking to the “miracle of friendship,” The fact that two sinful people can become intimate friendship is a testimony to the grace of God. The possibility of friendship is itself a miracle. He outlines for us the culture of friendship that makes it such a blessing, and the fruits of friendship which make it worth our pursuit. He guides us too in how to keep, protect, and preserve our friendships. In particular, Black highlights the spiritual nature of true friendship. He writes:
The culture of friendship must pass into the consecration of friendship, if it is to reach its goal. It is a natural evolution. Friendship cannot be permanent unless it becomes spiritual. There must be fellowship in the deepest things of the soul, community in the highest thoughts, sympathy with the best endeavours. We are bartering with priceless boon, if we are looking on friendship merely as a luxury, and not as a spiritual opportunity. It is, or can be, an occasion for growing in grace, for learning love, for training the heart to patience and faith, for knowing the joy of humble service. We are throwing away our chance, if we are not striving to be an inspiring and healthful environment to our friend. (27-28)
Like the medieval English Abbott Aelread of Rievaulx, Black believes that there is something spiritual and sacramental about friendship. This idea permeates the work, making it both unique and beautiful.
Black is not naïve, however, about the reality of sin and the limits of friendship. He talks honestly about those things too. While human friendship is invaluable, it can never replace friendship with God. There are limits to human relationships and ignorance of this fact can actually damage relationships. “Human friendship must have limits, just because it is human” (107).
Friendship is a unique book. I loved reading it, found myself encouraged to thank God for my friends while I read it. If its poetic voice can sometimes make logical flow difficult its content is worth the extra careful reading. The book celebrates friendship even while it teaches readers about it. It causes us to be thankful and responsible for our relationships, and also compels us to respond to them. It’s a book which, unlike other books, calls us to action even as we read.
Sparrow & Heart Soul Care 