My Crazy Journey: You Can’t Have Kids

I love kids, always have. When Krista and I got married we both spoke often of our desire to have a big family and our desire to adopt. We started trying to have kids not too long after we had been married, which was probably a dumb idea. But what we discovered rather quickly was that it was going to be very difficult to get pregnant. The journey towards having this big family was going to be more difficult than we had thought.

The short story is that we tried for over a year and a half to get pregnant with nothing but frustration, negative tests, various treatments and medicines, and lots of doctors visits. Nothing worked, and we were instructed by our physician that we ought to resign ourselves to the reality that we were not going to be able to have biological children. It was devastating news, and when you go to a family friendly seminary it means that everyone you know is having kids (some having four and five). It was a hard season, full of lots of crying, praying, and even some bickering between us. I don’t like to relive it.

In the big picture a year and a half wasn’t that long. We have friends who still can’t get pregnant though they desperately want to. But suffering is usually relative and for us it was a real pain. But then…we got pregnant!

It was a glorious and wonderful moment to be able to share with our friends and family who prayed fervently for us that we were having a child. After a whopping 36 hours of labor (some crazy complications) our beautiful daughter was born. But there was something which the doctors saw that they felt needed further investigation. Our daughter had an issue with her spinal cord that was going to require surgery before she was two years old.

Our daughter is an absolute blessing and joy in our lives. She is now healthy, with no spinal problems, and to add to the blessings God granted us a second child, a healthy baby boy (so much for resignation to no biological children). I love my children, and what’s neat is that I am finding out what most parents probably already know: having kids provides all sorts of avenues for your faith to grow.

Our faith grew through trying to get pregnant, it grew through our daughter’s surgery, it grows through the weeks of high stress with the kids, and it will grow throughout our life with them. It’s crazy that I have spent much of my young adult life looking for opportunities to serve God and grow in my understanding of and love for Him, and the biggest arena he has given me for that is my own home. I thought ministry and faith were going to grow strongest in the soil of local church operations, foreign missionary endeavors, preaching, etc., but it has been the home where most of my spiritual maturity has developed. That’s crazy!


  1. Pat EdgingtonYou says:

    Really enjoyed reading this Dave. Everything in life seems to happen for a reason, suffering is always part of it. You & your wife have two beautiful children. Enjoy every moment with your young children, they grow up too fast, speaking from experience. Children are truly Gifts of God! You are Blessed!


  1. […] those who don’t know my wife and I well, our story involves a struggle with infertility. For nearly two years Krista and I struggled with infertility. […]

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