We have been discussing friendship with God over the last few posts. We have seen how the Old Testament develops the idea and how the New Testament, through the person and work of Jesus Christ, advances that idea. But is it even appropriate to speak of being God’s “friend”? After all, He is glorious and holy. He is King Almighty! Does it demean His gloriousness to speak of God in terms of friendship? Is that unfitting of His character? It doesn’t demean God to call Him friend if we have a proper view of friendship!
So what does friendship with God even mean? Let’s unpack that as we wrap up this miniseries. First, friendship with God means a sense of relational security. In his brilliant work Communion with God, the great Puritan theologian John Owen reminds us that our relationship with God is owing to God’s initiating love. God did not need to be in relationship with us. He was not duty bound in some way. But rather the Father, Son, and Spirit freely enter into relationships with us because they love. So, Owen writes, “Our communion with God is founded in the love of God…wherein He undertakes, by His own free and sovereign grace, to communicate Himself unto us in a covenant of grace.” Scripture testifies to this by saying that God displayed his love for us in this that while we were still sinners Christ died for us (Rom. 5:8). That means there is solid ground to stand on in our relationship with God.
The friendship of God is built not on our responses and our emotions ultimately, but on God’s loving us and in Jesus’ securing that relationship for us. Again, Owen says, “Assurance, grounded in the unchangeableness of God’s love in Christ, give strength to our communion, when without it we might be cast down by every storm of temptation.” People are always going to disappoint us. Even the best of friends is imperfect and is going to fail us, act selfishly, be hurtful and forgetful. It’s a given. And you may perceive that the Lord has disappointed you, and that’s a legitimate thing to wrestle with and to talk to Him about. But in fact, God is always the truest friend; He always care and always loves. You don’t have to worry that you will do something to lose the friendship of God. Once you are in Christ, it is yours forever! Jesus tells us plainly, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Heb. 13:5-6).
Secondly, friendship with God means that we relate to each member of the Trinity distinctly. As a believer you have a distinct relationship with the Father, and with the Son, and with the Holy Spirit. Each member of the Trinity has their own role in both salvation and sanctification and so the believer relates to each differently…even while they are all still one God. This opens to us diverse ways of relating to God and enhances and diversifies our experiences of God. You get to enjoy God and connect with God as Father, as Son, and as Holy Spirit, each uniquely.
Thirdly, friendship with God involves a level of mutuality. We are careful here because of course God is God and we are not! He can call us to obey as part of our friendship and we can never expect the same response from Him. And yet, Owen is right in speaking of some level of mutuality. He notes that God both reveals Himself to us and invites us to share with Him. There is a mutual exchange of love, he says. He communicates Himself to us and we in return communicate with Him. God wants and accepts your love just as He gives His love to you.
There is a difference here. Owen notes that it is God’s initiating love that starts the whole relationship. He says, “There is no love in us to God but what is a return of his own; he loves us first. Our love is nothing but the reflex of His.” So, God’s love makes any love from us possible. But there is a response of love on our part.
So, how do we cultivate this friendship with God? There are obvious answers, but they are worth mentioning. Reading Scripture is a primary way we strengthen our friendship. Friendships are build on proper knowledge of each other and we know God primarily through what He has revealed in His Word. So, you should pour over the pages of the Bible to know God.
Second, we can mention prayer because relationships are enhanced through communication and prayer is the way we talk to God. And we are invited to share with Him all our thoughts, sorrows, fears, and hurts. We are invited to share with Him when we experience confusion about Him and His ways. So, talk to the Lord.
Third, our worship enhances our communion with God. Our friendship with the Lord is unique in that we worship this friend. But this worship impacts our sense of Him and our enjoyment of Him. Worship is an act of enjoyment and we can enjoy our Divine friend through praise and adoration of Him.
Lastly, we grow our relationship with God by talking with others who are in relationship with Him. One of the amazing things about a group of friends is that you get to experience one another through each other. That is to say, I learn about God through someone else’s experience of Him too. Being friends with the friends of God helps me to see God from different angles, all of which enhances my own experiences of Him.
But I want to mention one additional thought: to really cultivate a friendship with God you need to strive for experiences of God in your day-to-day life. God cannot be someone you try to relate to merely for an hour one day a week. You cannot hope to have a strong friendship and only think about or interact with God for moments during a full week. God cannot be a “Sunday-thing”. So, whatever you do to connect with the Lord work it into your days. Make Him as much a part of your daily life as you can.
We have been discussing ultimately how friendship points us to the Lord. He is the true friend. The Bible gives us some wonderful examples of friendship and they model some good principles for us, but ultimately they point us to Jesus who is the true friend. To the degree that you are friends with God then you can learn to be a better friend to others.
Sparrow & Heart Soul Care 