A Theology of Friendship: The Friendship of God

We’ve been exploring the examples of friendship that the Bible offers us. And we have learned some very helpful principles in that study. Ultimately, however, all of these examples reflect a deeper spiritual truth of the Bible: earthly friendships point us to God.

Friendship in Scripture is wonderful and encouraging and lovely to read about. But it points ultimately to the friendship of God. Within the pages of Scripture God is the truest and best friend! So, let’s explore the friendship of God. We’ll star by looking at the friendship of God in the Old Testament.

Several people are expressly called the “friend of God” The first and most notably, Abraham. There are two places in the Old Testament where Abraham is identified as such: 2 Chronicles 20:7; Isaiah 41:8. In fact, Abraham is the only person in the Old Testament to be directly called God’s friend. We will consider God’s relationship with Moses as well, but it is Abraham alone who is called God’s “friend” specifically. And why? How does Abraham come to be identified as such. The Apostle James sheds some light on this question:

Was not Abraham our father justified by works when he offered up his son Isaac on the altar? You see that faith was active along with his works, and faith was completed by his works; and the Scripture was fulfilled that says, “Abraham believed God, and it was counted to him as righteousness”—and he was called a friend of God. (James 2:21-23)

What is James saying? He is making the point that Abraham’s faith displayed in his obedience established him as God’s friend. Abraham’s obedience revealed the legitimacy of His faith, but it also supported a friendship with God. What’s interesting for us is that Jesus teaches this very principle in John 15:14-15:

You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.

There is a conditional clause here: You are my friends “if” you do something. If you keep my commands. This is not a statement about salvation. Obedience does not save your soul – after all, no one can be perfectly obedient and therefore no one can save themselves. Rather, Jesus is pointing out what characterizes his friends. Salvation leads to a change in life. I live differently, certainly not perfectly and not without plenty of fumbling and failing – which the Bible also acknowledges – but I am generally characterized as one who is striving to live for Jesus. And this, our Lord tells us, marks us as His friends.

Abraham’s friendship, then, models for us something important about friendship with God – it is characterized by living for Him. God’s friends are those who live lives in submission to Him. God’s friends are those who live lives focused on Him and His will. God’s friends are those who obey Him.

We can mention next God’s relationship with Moses in the Old Testament. Exodus 33:11 tells us that Moses spoke with God intimately, as one speaks with a friend. What a startling passage! God spoke with Moses so intimately that it was considered a friendship conversation. The phrase “face to face” should not be taken literally to mean that Moses looked God in the face. Just a few verses later we read that no man can look on God and live. Rather, the phrase is simply an expression to communicate close intimacy. Moses enjoyed a unique and intimate relationship with God where they communicated like one communicates with His friends. There is nothing quite like this in history. In one sense it foreshadows what we will encounter in the New Testament where Jesus makes it such that we can come to God any time and speak freely with Him. We can have this kind of intimate relationship with God today. We can speak to God as one speaks to a friend. That is accessible to all of us in Christ. We will see this in more detail in a moment.

There are a scant few other references to the friends of God in the Old Testament. In the Song of Debra and Barak, in Judges 5, they sing of God destroying His enemies but His friends enjoy success (Judges 5:31). In Job 29:3-5 the man remembers a time of blessing and joy, when, he says, “the friendship of God was upon my tent, when the Almighty was yet with me…” Job suggests, then, that friendship with God includes the joy of his presence. Obviously, God is still Job’s friend when he goes through suffering, and that is something that the man is learning. We get the benefit of seeing the whole story. God is a friend when we are experiencing blessing and when we are going through hardship. But Job acknowledges that at least friendship means the presence of God.

Psalm 25:14  gives us another message of the friendship of God. In this text, again, friendship relates to honor and respect. There is an implied obedience here, which takes us back to the earlier point about Abraham’s friendship with God.

There is a presentation of friendship with God in the Old Testament, even prior to the coming of Christ, that involves intimacy with God and the gift of His presences, but it also calls upon us to respond with obedience and submission. It is a unique friendship in this regard. For we don’t speak of obeying our friends, but we also don’t speak of intimacy with the divine like this. Yes, our God is to be obeyed, but we have this unique dynamic where the one whom we obey calls us His friends.