A Theology of Friendship: God Made us For Friendship

“It is not good for man to be alone” (Gen. 2:18). This is an utterly profound statement. It is especially profound because it is uttered at a point in human history where man has a sinless relationship with God himself! God made us for friendship. Even when we have God, we still need others.

This may sound absolutely ludicrous to say, perhaps even blasphemous to some. But consider the context in which God utters these words to Adam in the Garden of Eden (Gen. 2:18). There is no sin in the world, and Adam is enjoying uninterrupted communion with his Creator. Up to this point God has called everything that He has made “good.” Here we get the first mention that things are not yet as good as they could be: man is alone.

It’s a strange thing for God to observe, because, after all, man is not alone. He has a plethora of animals, but of course we understand none of them is a “suitable” match for Adam (Gen. 2:20). But, Adam ultimately has the Lord. He has a perfect relationship with God and enjoys talking with the Lord, walking with the Lord. How could God suggest that Adam was “alone.” In fact, Christians often give this counsel to lonely people: you’re not alone, you have the Lord. But here is God almighty, in perfect wisdom and clarity, observing that Adam needed more than just a relationship with the Creator. He needed someone like him. He needed another human being.

Genesis 2 is certainly a text that provides the basis for marriage (v. 24 makes that clear). But there is more going on here than just a text grounding marriage in God’s design. This is a text that promotes human relationships in general. When Adam lived in paradise with God, and suffered no relational tension with the Lord, he still needed another human being. Not everyone will marry; other parts of the Bible tell us that (Matt. 19:12; 1 Cor. 7:8). Here we have a basis for all human relationships. You need others. Yes, you desperately need the Lord. But it is the Lord himself who declares “it is not good for man to be alone.”

From the dawn of human creation, God has made us for people. Human relationships are not optional, they are essential to what it means to live as God intended. Our theology of friendship must start here: friends are necessary for being the kind of humans that God made us to be.