This year’s focused study in on friendship, and particularly considering what a theology of friendship would look like. The Bible uses the language of friendship to help us understand God, the gospel, and our dynamics with one another. It applauds friendship through examples and stories. Our culture has such a diminished view of friendship, but Scripture holds it in high regard.
The reality is that we are made for friendship. We see this at the beginning of the Bible. Genesis 2:18 tells us plainly that “it is not good for man to be alone.” While this text does gives us some foundations for considering marriage and gender complementarity, the application of the principle is much broader. We were made to be in relationships. Our God is a social God and in making us in His image He has made us to be social. We must live in community in order to properly reflect our Creator.
In addition, we can’t reflect God if we aren’t maturing and growing and this too is a product of relationships. We don’t mature and grow without others. This is one of the reasons that the New Testament has so many “one another” commands. We cannot grow on our own. We need the faithful wounds of a friend (Prov. 27:6), who will call us out and challenge us. We need others who will weep with us and rejoice with us (Rom. 12:15). We need friends in order to grow spiritually and mature in godly character.
Ultimately our friendships with one another serve as a pointer to the greater and deeper friendship we have with God. God speaks of himself as our friend. He spoke with Moses as one speaks with a friend (Ex. 33:11). He called Abraham “my friend” (Isa. 41:8). Job had experienced the “intimate friendship” of God (Job 29:4). Jesus refers to the disciples as his friends (John 15:15), and He was known in His earthly ministry as a “friend of sinners” (Matt. 11:19). Friendship is God’s idea. He starts it with Adam and Eve, taking long evening walks in the Garden of Eden. He models friendship and all earthly friendships are but glimpses of what we get in Him. Friendship, therefore, has a greater theological benefit in that it directs our thoughts towards God. Good friends are needed because they help us know God’s friendship in tangible ways.
Friendship is, of course, impacted by sin. It has been marred by selfishness and competing personal agendas. It can turn ugly and become abusive. It can lead people to misuses, as in codependency. All of this is important and worth fleshing out too. Yet, even for all its imperfections and weaknesses, even with all the potential to be hurt by friends, Scripture maintains that friendship matters.
We know that friendship matters because ultimately when Jesus comes, He comes as our friend. “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). The gospel is about friendship and our future is one in which we will live eternally in friendship! The gospel redeems friendship from the curse of sin and restores us to friendship with God – just as it was meant to be. We will say much about this in the coming weeks.
A theology of friendship will want to consider all these elements…and more. Friendship matters to God, and we are in a state in the world where we desperately need to recapture a theology of friendship. Loneliness is an epidemic in America, and sadly, even Christians and churches – those who should have hope and answers for this epidemic – seem to have a very low view of friendship. We must recover a theology of friendship. Our world has a diminished view of friendship, but Scripture holds it in high regard, and God invites us to pursue it fully.
Sparrow & Heart Soul Care 