Edwardsian Anxieties: Fear and Perfectionism (Part 2)

For all his gospel love, Jonathan Edwards tended towards legalism. It may be that legalism resides within the heart of all of us, so that we tend at varying stages of life towards the belief that God loves us more or less based on our performance. Edwards own struggle with this tendency is evident as one examines closely his regular discipline and self-examination. Though many praise the great theologian for his seriousness, his austerity may actually have done more harm to his spirituality than good. Edwards’ perfectionist tendencies prolonged his struggle with assurance of salvation.

Edwards grew up in a strict home. His father was demanding and held his young, and only, son to high expectations. George Marsden comments on the dynamics of their relationship, saying:

We can imagine the strict attention that such an exacting mentor must have directed toward preparing his only son for the ministry. In matters academic the two were well matched. The son’s precocious aptitudes suited the father’s perfectionist demands. Far more difficult for Jonathan was meeting the high standards his father set for true spirituality. No amount of discipline and striving could satisfy. For a boy who took great satisfaction in his own superior standing and achievements, the challenge of attaining superior humility was truly daunting. Yet God – and Timothy Edwards, the expert in God’s standard – would accept nothing less. (Jonathan Edwards: A Life, 34)

Timothy Edwards had been born of the Puritan mold to be sure. Edwards had learned from his father the importance of holding oneself to a high demand for holiness. He learned too of the importance of regular self-examination. Both trends, however, would be used to harm Jonathan more than benefit him.

As a young man Jonathan had “resolved” to a life of austerity and spiritual seriousness. Many celebrate his resolutions, but one wonders if they were not drawn from a heart more bent towards perfectionism than towards the Spirit of God. So Edwards resolved to:

 Live with all my might, while I do live…

Never to do anything, which I should be afraid to do, if it were the last hour of my life…

To think much on all occasions of my own dying, and of the common circumstances which attend death…

To maintain the strictest temperance in eating and drinking…

Never to speak anything ridiculous, or matter of laughter on the Lord’s Day…

Throughout these early years he kept a numerical grading scale for himself, regularly evaluating how he did. He rejoiced when “the weekly account rose higher than ordinary,” but lamenting “I fell exceedingly low in the weekly account” at other times. Perhaps I look less favorably on Edwards “Resolutions” than others do, but it appears that he based much of his own emotional state upon his performance during these years. Legalism and perfectionism reared their heads, and brought with them doubt.

Two constant sources of doubt for Edwards were his continual struggles with sin and the awareness of his own waning desire for God. Though he desired God, often he sensed that he did not desire God enough. At the center of his spirituality were the “affections.” By regular means of self-examination he could conclude either he had great affection for God or little affection for God. The problem with this approach, of course, is that our affections are never fully devoted to God in this life. If I am to take my confidence in my own heart then I will always find myself without sure ground to stand upon. Edwards knew this too in some sense. He warned one young lady in regard to self-examination that if she were to “fall into doubts about the state of [her] soul” then she should stop. Rather than “consume too much of your time…in poring and puzzling thoughts about old experiences” she should instead engage in “an earnest pursuit after renewed experiences, new light, and new, lively acts of faith and love” (quoted in McClymond and McDermott, The Theology of Jonathan Edwards, 65). Two authors note of Edwards:

His experience with a rule-governed life was an unhappy one, and in the “Personal Narrative” he later noted that he early on had acted “with too great dependence on my own strength; which afterwards proved a great damage to me.” (The Theology of Jonathan Edwards, 64)

His own self-examination did not produce the kind of assurance he was seeking. In fact it only left him with more doubt. The more he looked for confidence in himself the more he saw reason to doubt. He spoke from experience when he warned the young girl to be careful with this tool. Perfectionism is a device of Satan, not a means of grace in the life of the believer. Edwards’ own life reflects this reality.

There is a great deal to appreciate about the person and work of Jonathan Edwards. He was a great theologian, a great preacher, and in many ways a model Christian. Yet I believe his austerity was driven less by a thankful heart and more by a legalistic bent. I worry that many Christians today imitate this practice of self-examination to their own demise. I will find no confidence of my salvation in studying myself, the only confidence I have is found in the person and the work of Christ. I need to take my eyes off of me, then, and look to my Savior. That’s what Jonathan needed too.