Introducing Edwards: The Uncommon Union

“Marriage to a difficult man.” That’s how Elisabeth Dodd titled her famous monograph on the “uncommon union” of Jonathan and Sarah Edwards. Dodd’s book is respected, though not always thought to accurately represent the dynamics of their relationship. There is do doubt that Jonathan was a difficult man, but their union was not one marred by difficulty. In fact through their difficulties they could grow. Because of their mutual commitment to Jesus their marriage was a beautiful union.

“Uncommon” is a fitting description of their union. The two could not be more different. Edwards was socially awkward, a bit arrogant, and very bookish. His introversion meant he delighted to study in his office, often there for 13 hours a day.Sarah, on the other hand, spoke freely and really enjoyed conversation with others. They were very different in this regard, and yet Jonathan was nonetheless drawn to this young woman.

To be sure she was known for her “uncommon beauty.” But it was her love for God that attracted him to her. Her physical beauties only pointed to a higher spiritual beauty. Reflecting on her at an early stage he wrote:

They say there is a young lady…who is beloved of that almighty Being, who made and rules the world, and that there are certain reasons in which this great Being, in some way or other invisible comes to her and fills her mind with exceeding sweet delight, and that she hardly cares for anything, except to meditate on him – that she expects after a while to be received up where he is, to be raised out of the world and caught up into heaven; being assured that he loves her too well to let her remain at a distance from him always. There she is to dwell with him, and to be ravished with his love, favor and delight, forever. Therefore, if you present all the world before her, with the richest of its treasures, she disregards it and cares not for it, and is unmindful of any pain or affliction. She has a strange sweetness in her mind, and a sweetness of temper, uncommon purity in her affections; is most just and praiseworthy in all her actions; and you could not persuade her to do anything thought wrong or sinful, if you would giver her all the world, lest she should offend this great Being. She is of a wonderful sweetness, calmness and universal benevolence of mind; especially after those times in which this great God has manifested himself to her mind. She will sometimes go about, singing sweetly from place to place; and seems to be always full of joy and pleasure; and no one knows for what. She loves to be alone, and to wander in the fields and on the mountains and seems to have someone invisible always conversing with her. (Quoted in Marsden, 93-4)

This is quite a different sort of lover note than most young men write. Marsden points out that in many ways Sarah represented the sort of spiritual person that Jonathan desired to be. They were married July 28, 1727.

There is no doubt that their marriage, like all faced difficulty and frustration. Jonathan was a minister and spent many hours studying. He often made himself available to his 11 children and wife, but, especially with the outbreak of revival, the minister found himself often occupied with travel, preaching, and preparation. This meant that the duties of the house and particularly of raising 3 sons and 8 daughters fell to Sarah.

In addition, she faced the common anxieties of a ministers wife. She was jealous for her husband, often worrying that guest preachers would have greater success in North Hampton than he had. She had to pray and learn to trust God’s providence. She writes:

I had to bless God, for the use he had made of Mr. Edwards hitherto; but thought, if He never blessed his labors any more, and should greatly bless the labours of other ministers, I could entirely acquiesce in His will.

No doubt the eventual dismissal of Edwards from his church in North Hampton had a burdensome effect on her too. Their life was by no means easy. The untimely death of Jonathan was a tremendous blow to a family that had already suffered so much.

But again, it was her commitment to Christ, that allowed her not only to find joy in her marriage to Jonathan, to suffer through the difficulties of their life together, but to endure after his death too. Writing to her daughter after his passing Sarah said:

What shall I say?  A holy and good God has covered us with a dark cloud. . . . The Lord has done it.  He has made me adore His goodness, that we had [Jonathan] so long.  But my God lives; and He has my heart.

What a tremendous testimony and one that we might all long to possess.

One wonders if Jonathan and Sarah would have passed a marriage compatibility test that are so common today. I recall a minister telling me that my wife and I were not compatible based on our test results. But Jonathan and Sarah possessed that one commonality that surpasses all others: commitment to Jesus Christ. George Whitfield, writing in his journal, after a stay with the Edwards family, had this to say of Jonathan and Sarah:

A sweeter couple I have not yet seen. Mrs. Edwards is adorned with a meek and quiet spirit; she talked freely and solidly of the things of God, and seemed to be such a helpmeet for her husband.

A greater marital legacy would be hard to find. Here was a couple whose dedication to Christ allowed them to overcome difficulties. It’s a tremendous testimony for modern marriages to learn from. They were certainly not perfect, nor was their marriage. They did not avoid all problems, disagreements, and frustrations. But because of their commitment to the gospel they were able to press through them together. O that their uncommon union was more common today!