Things Not To Say In Dating Relationships: Girls

It’s true that guys are prone to say some really dumb things in dating relationships, but girls aren’t guilt-free. It’s particularly true that young Christian woman can be as prone as Christian men to overly spiritualize the language they use to speak about their relationships, and justify sin.

Ladies, here are somethings you should stop saying:

1. I am looking for a good spiritual leader –> At one level it’s nice that a number of young ladies want godly men who are concerned about the spiritual well-being of their families. But this is not what you announce to young men, nor should you allow boyfriends to play the role of spiritual leader in your life. Russell D. Moore has keenly written that women need to stop submitting to men.

2. He’d make a great father –> It’s important to consider the quality of a guy, but this seems like it is moving awfully fast. Furthermore while “great father” is a good quality in a guy it’s not the most important. There are a lot of things to consider as you get to know a guy.

3. He’s too nice –> On the opposite end of the spectrum are lines like these. What makes a guy “too nice”? Why is nice a bad thing? What are women looking for in contrast? If you’re looking for someone who’s got a “bad streak” or is a bit of a “bad boy” I think you need to reevaluate your standards. Also, there’s a difference between thinking someone is really nice and thinking that they aren’t a good fit for you. Maybe “he’s too nice” is just bad language to use.

4. He’s not a Christian, but he’s really nice –> Obedience to God is important regardless of how we justify sin. “Nice” is a good thing, see #3, but that doesn’t equate with God’s standard for a healthy relationship.

Godly guys and godly girls can have healthy relationships, but the language we use and the way we think about relationships matters. Some of us need to think more about the spiritual elements in our relationships, and some of us need to be careful not to abuse spiritual langauge to justify rushing relationships.