(1) Safeguard the Marriage Bed Sexual sin and divorce are as rampant among the church as they are among the world. The Christian can easily fall prey to them if he or she is not on their guard. God has instituted sex within the bonds of marriage as a good thing and we should hold it as such. To guard the marriage bed we must follow the Biblical commands about sex and love. So Paul tells us not to abstain from sex for too long, and only on mutual consent for prayer and fasting. He also explains that love does not seek its own, and therefore our sex should not be purely selfish pursuits for our own gratification. Rather sex is to be a giving of yourself to your spouse for their pleasure. “Your body is not your own,” Paul says. Furthermore, Solomon urges men to take delight in the wife of their youth and to let her breasts satisfy us alone. That is to say, Solomon is urging upon us marital fidelity. Guard your marriage bed by holding sex as good and wonderful, as God glorifying, and as precious. Guard it by seeking the pleasure of your spouse above yourself, and by avoiding the temptations to lust.[1]
(2) Give First to Your Church To fight against the temptations of materialism it is wise to give first to your church. As Christians seek to follow the Biblical example of giving to the church, and through the church to the Lord, we must make it a priority with our money. Work it into your budget to give each week as part of your weekly worship of the Lord. This prevents you from spending what you intended to give, and sets you in a frame of mind that makes giving to the Lord a priority over gaining for yourself and your family.
(3) Don’t Delay Repentance It is not an easy thing to confess your sins. Thomas Watson knew that when he wrote his work The Doctrine of Repentance. But, as Watson says, nothing worth anything is easy. The temptation of our wicked hearts is to delay repentance of sin; to wait until we are more sorry for it and/or God is less angry with us about it. This delayed repentance, however, only hardens our hearts. The longer you wait to confess your sins before God the more you will lose that sense of seriousness and grievousness about your sins. Sin will be dulled and this will weaken your hatred of it. Don’t delay repentance, expose your sin watch it shrivel up and die in the light of the glory of Christ.
(4) Read Church History This strategy may seem odd in light of the topic, but I assure you that it has a good place in this discussion. Church history is full of examples and advice for Christians today. Christian history is riddled with the biographies of men and women of God who have struggled with the same sins and issues that we do today (“No temptation has seized you but what is common to all men”). We can not only take solace in their struggle, but find hope and help in their story. Read church history and do not let your sin steal your hope. Fight the hold of sin and the temptation to depression and self-pity by reading church history, and being reminded that there is always hope with Christ.
(5) Pray the Psalms The Psalms represent the cries of human hearts, both in joy and sorrow. Whatever you are feeling there is a psalm for you. The benefit of praying a psalm is manifold. First, it prevents redundancy and meaningless repetition in our prayers. Second, it expresses the cry of our hearts in Biblical language. Third, it helps us to see that God knows what we are going through. Satan lies to us, as he did to our first parents, and tells us that God does not understand. Christ is the ultimate answer to that accusation, but even before His coming the Psalms reveal that God, as their primary author, knows we struggle and we need His help. Pray the psalms and resist the devil.
(6) Resist Self-Indulgence that Makes Life so Comfortable that You Don’t Long for Heaven God has given us many good things in this life, and there is a temptation to surround ourselves with such nice things, and family, and comfort that we forget that this is not our home. Many of us can be so consumed with storing up earthly treasures that we don’t long for heaven. The glorious call “home” feels more like a loss than a victory. Resist this type of self-indulgence. Find ways to give of yourself to others, sacrifice often, and beware of full bellies and large expenditures.
(7) Teach Yourself to Long for Heaven Paul urges Christians in every age to wait “eagerly” for the appearing of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Do we wait eagerly? This is obviously connected to point 26, but allow me to elaborate on it more here. Train your mind to see more of the corruption of this world. Train your heart to be satisfied with the meager joys of this world and to enjoy them as reflections of the greater joy that will be ours in heaven. Take the opportunities provided by frustration to remind yourself that heaven has none.
(8) Guard Your Eyes from the Lust of Things and People Job made a covenant with his eyes, and we too should do the same. This can be directly influenced by the amount of TV you watch, but it can also be affected by the places you frequent and the lifestyle you live. Joshua Harris advices not watching commercials when you do view TV shows. When your show goes to commercial flip to C-Span (it is almost impossible to lust while watching C-Span)! Train your eyes to re-act negatively to underdressed women, to sexual advertisements, and the glamour of the celebrity lifestyle. Of course lust is a heart issue, but we can help our hearts fight sin by keeping our eyes from tempting sights.
(9) Practice Self-Discipline on the Little Things in order to Strengthen it for the Big Things Self-Discipline is extremely hard for some of us. Usually this is because we do not attempt to practice it ever. At the first inklings of hunger we feed our stomachs. The first feeling of boredom we flip on the television. The first interest in sex, we masturbate. The way to build up our self-discipline is to start with small things, more easily achievable. Regularly restrict yourself certain desires for the sheer benefit of strengthening your self-discipline. So don’t eat a dessert after dinner for two nights. Don’t watch TV for five days. Don’t buy new shoes or books for one month. Other good suggestions that take more discipline involve starting a budget for how you spend your money, and scheduling days on which you have sex with your spouse.[2] Self-Discipline is very important in the fight against sin and developing its strength will build your resistance to temptation. This is not, however, to be taken as a sort of “lifting yourself up by your own bootstraps.” Self-Discipline is useless in the fight against sin if God is not behind, beneath, and all around it. It is all of grace, though God does use means.
(10) Serve Others Regularly I don’t know if I agree with others who say that selfishness is at the root of every sin, but it is a prominent root of sin. The best way, then, to fight sin is to serve others regularly. Repeated condescension of ourselves for the sake of others strikes major blows against our pride and self-indulgence. Serve others and in so doing fight sin and glorify God.
[1] cf. David Dunham, Young Men and Sexual Sin. (Athens: Sovereign God, 2004).
[2] This may seem un-romantic but it actually serves to heighten the anticipation, especially for your wife, and becomes a real delight for couples. If, however, this causes stumbling then in accordance with Biblical commands you must not put off having sex for too long.
Sparrow & Heart Soul Care 